Wonderland

People always tell me he’s not even worth it and that I’m better than him. But they don’t understand. I make jokes all the time about him but really, it’s just my way of getting over him. From the time I’ve met him to the time we dated, I can honestly say that it was the happiest time of my life. To know that someone chose me, want me, and care about me, it just makes me so happy and wanted. I trusted him because I knew he cared, and he really did. He sacrifice his time with his friends just to see me. He even forgot his nephew’s birthday just because he was so worked up in seeing me. He dedicated everything he had to me. The one thing that made him different from everybody else and so special to me is that he only saw me, no one else. He never talked about how this person makes him so happy or how this person made his day because it was me who made him happy and made his days. I knew he would never leave me. And the fact that he thought that there was no one better made me so happy and honored just to be with him. So why did I leave? ….

It’s pathetic when you don’t have the balls to ask a girl you like out but you could go out on a date with a girl you don’t even care about. Cool, cool. I gave you too many chances. Now, I’ll just make it easier for both of us and stop giving them to you. You won’t have to act like you care, when you obviously don’t. And I won’t waste my time.

I’m so use to him ignoring me and making me feel worthless that I no longer feel anything. I don’t get mad, sad, not even depressed. Because I can’t feel it. But deep down inside, I know I’m hurting.